youbetter-runlike-thedevil: stormpooper: zooeyclairedeschanel: stop saying i can’t even and start saying i can even believe in urself is that a lawn mower flying no, it’s a lawn mower following it’s dreams
You’re not who I thought you were, and I was delusional to think otherwise in the first place. It’s not to say that who you are is a bad thing, I just made you out to be someone you weren’t; someone I could see myself with. I’m too susceptible to pretty faces. It’s time I change that. Tomorrow i’ll be a better me, and you’ll still be you. Nothing drives...
I DON’T TRUST PEOPLE WHO DON’T MASTURBATE
m4ge: I was listening to this song (i may or...
roadandtheradio: I wonder what it’s like to have someone fall for you. And I mean really fall for you. Not just they want to get in your pants because they think you’re attractive. But be consumed with every little piece of you. The way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you just exist. To everyone in love: you don’t know how lucky you are.
Batman: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
Bruce Wayne: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
People of Gotham: Shut up Bruce, we're trying to figure out who Batman is.
Batman: I'M BACK!
Bruce Wayne: ME TOO.
People of Gotham: NO ONE CARES BRUCE. WHO THE FUCK IS BATMAN?
Kid: why do we have to learn this
Math teacher: because fuck you
me: so like, is it my turn to be in a relationship yet or
Anonymous asked: I wish I could have been there to help you out? ;)
Anonymous asked: Did you really get a boner? :P
Me before work started yesterday
me: fuck im tired. god, is it gonna be a long day today?
me: gimmie a sign
me: **pops random boner**
youngstero: one time at this bar mitzvah I was at the dj emcee guy was like “if your sock has a hole in it you get this piece of candy” so this kid tore a hole in this sock real quick and ran up there and then this dick dj goes “ALL SOCKS HAVE HOLES IN THEM!!!!” and starts raining down candy like it’s golden hellfire and I look at this kid and he’s crying while holding his shitty ruined sock
its-pabu: uncreativeart: -creys-
This is a song I made yesterday called...
k1mkardashian: black person: *breathes* white people: omg that’s so ratchet!! haha i luv black people real nigga wassup
sabrajay: onewhositswiththeturtles: ezmiisaname: I don’t know who this belongs to, but it is gold! I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe properly I HAVE SEEN MY HELMET. *wheezing*